22 Things I learned before 22

I turned 22 years old yesterday. This is a fun milestone for me, because when I was younger, I always assumed 22 was the year I would have it all together (spoiler alert: I don’t.) However, I do think I’ve learned a lot during my 22 years that I thought would be fun to share!

1. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

I’ve always been embarrassed about asking for help. For some reason, I felt that it made me look dumb. However, as I’ve navigated through school and the workforce, I’ve found that asking questions just makes life a lot easier. By asking questions to my professors in school, I was able to better understand topics that otherwise would have left me pulling an all nighter trying to figure out. By asking questions at work, I’m able to learn much more and become a better coder. Your professors, managers, and team members are all there to help you — take advantage of them!

2. No one is paying as much attention to you as you think they are.

I always try to remember this piece of advice whenever a post an Instagram photo or a podcast episode. I always worry about what people will think of me, but at the end of the day — everyone has their own stuff to worry about. So it’s best to remember no one’s really spending their time worrying about you and what you are up to.

3. Bad things always have a purpose behind them.

A lot of time when something bad happens — whether that be a job rejection, personal hardship, or anything else, we often think it is the end of the world. However, I always find it interesting to look back and realize that those “bad” events actually led me to where I am today. I think every event and hardship has its purpose, but sometimes it takes time to show. I read something (or perhaps saw it on Tik Tok) about whenever anything bad happens — give it a year. You’ll see that something good came out of it.

4. You decide what makes you successful.

In your life, you can figure out what success means to you. Whether that is starting your own company, travelling the world, or landing your dream job — it’s up to you to decide what makes you successful.

5. Sometimes crying helps.

LOL. I find that for myself, after something bad, crying is what helps me ‘reset.’ This is obviously different for a lot of people — but after crying, I feel ready to tackle the situation practically. I always thought crying made me weak but I’ve find it kind of helps to calm me down … so figure out what works for you :)

6. Hard work over natural smarts.

I am a true advocate for hard work. I believe that hard work is the key to success and with hard work — anyone can accomplish practically everything. I often got upset that subjects like math did not come naturally to me, but at the end of the day, working harder at math made me develop better work ethic and a better understanding of some core math principles.

7. Don’t attach yourself to a particular goal for your happiness.

Whenever we find ourself in some sort of difficulty, we often attach ourselves to a goal. For example — I’ll be happy once I get that job, I’ll be happy once I get into medical school, or I’ll be happy once I get married. However, once you reach that goal — there’s usually other goals that stem from that. An example that I personally remember is being in first year university and telling myself that when I finally got into the computer science program, I would be happy. But once I achieved that goal, I had new goals — getting my first internship, keeping good grades, joining clubs, and more. Ultimately, I find it’s better to be happy in the moment than rely on a certain goal for your happiness.

8. Take care of yourself (especially in university).

One of the (very few) positives of quarantining for the past year and a half for myself has been slowing down. Before COVID, I found myself constantly on the go — studying, applying to internships, running off to clubs, and much more. As a result, I often was not getting enough sleep, not drinking enough water, and just not taking care of myself. Quarantine made me realize how easy it is to get caught up in day to day activities and not take care of yourself and in university, when you’re growing, I think it’s very important to take time to do so.

9. Check in with yourself in terms of goals and general happiness.

I try to check in with my goals and happiness every 3–4 months. My goals are constantly changing and I want to remind myself of what they are and what I am doing in order to get closer to them. In terms of happiness, I find that I often get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life and forget to do things that make me happy. I try to check in with myself and make sure I’m doing okay.

10. Be nice.

Simple. It costs 0 dollars to be nice to people. You never know what someone is going through so try to be nice!

11. Everything always works out the way it needs to.

Similar to point #3 — I’m a strong believer that everyone is where they need to be at this point in time. You’ll look back on this time and realize that this is where you needed to be.

12. Don’t get caught up in social media.

Social media makes us believe everyone is living perfect, carefree lives with no problems whatsoever. Social media is a highlight reel so don’t let it impact you. I’ve had phases where I delete certain social media apps (*cough* LinkedIn *cough*) since they did more harm to my mental health than good. Set boundaries.

13. Take risks regularly.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase, “Do one thing every day that scares you.” Personally, I can’t find the motivation to do something scary every day, so I try to take risks and go out of my comfort zone regularly. I found that this has helped build up my confidence immensely!

14. Networking is important.

Building your network is important regardless of what field you’re in. A network helps you to find jobs and other opportunities, as well as get general advice from people who have been in your shoes. Go to networking events and just talk to people — you’ll learn so much!

15. Communicate.

This applies for a variety of scenarios. When I have an issue at work — I tell my boss in order to get help. When I am having a problem with a friend — talking it out always helps. Communication is very important with any sort of relationship you have.

16. You don’t have to be an early morning person.

Controversial, I know. However, I personally have tried to create a schedule that allowed me to start my day at 5am multiple times. I always fail — mostly because I hate the mornings. I find I’m most productive in the evenings and enjoy doing work then. It’s all up to your own personal schedule.

17. You should value your own opinion over anyone else’s.

At the end of the day, you have to live with the decisions you make. If you’re not happy with what you are doing, it shouldn’t really matter if other people are impressed by you.

18. Fake it ’til you make it.

A few years ago, I remember confiding in some friends that I am a very insecure person. They were very surprised by this — “But you project so much confidence?” At the time, I was 100% faking it — I was incredibly unhappy with where I was in my life at the time. However, I just kept trying to be confident and eventually… I guess it worked?

19. Be a mentor.

As soon as you have some sort of skills, I think that you should give back to your community. Whether that be tutoring younger kids or giving advice to those just starting out — share the wisdom!

20. Always say yes to opportunities (if you have enough time).

I’ve found that some of my best experiences in life have come from opportunities I wasn’t particularly interested in. I’ve found that taking advantage of every single opportunity available to me has made me realize what I like and don’t like. If you participate in something that you hate — that’s good, because now you know you hate it!

21. Apply for jobs or positions when you’re interested, even if you don’t meet all their requirements.

If you know me at all, you know I apply to basically anything and everything that I am even remotely interested in. Sometimes, I apply to a little too much. However, I always apply to things because what’s the harm? If I don’t get it — cool. If I get it, I can take some time to assess if I have enough bandwidth to be part of it adequately. Even if you don’t meet all their requirements — they’ll still bring you in if they think you’re a quick learner. And if they don’t want you, you just won’t get a response back! Simple :)

22. Do whatever makes you happy.

Straightforward.

And that’s all! By no means am I an expert on living your best life, but these are just some tips and stuff I’ve learned :) Thanks for reading!